long time

so here i am chillin with my miemie in her awesome appartment feelin a lil on the jellous side that her appartment is soo much better than mine and that i have to use her laptop because i have no internet.... so i admit im a hater.. oh well... anyways im hoping to have a laptop and be back in touch with the world in the next two weeks... talk to you all soon!!!

Another one of those days...

So here I am on the final count down to a "normal" schedule... I am not sure if it is the fact that i am so close to having a "normal" schedule that is making the night shift so much worse or if it is the fact that I just plain do not get enough sleep. As usual I got home from work at 8am on Monday morning to have my perky little princess greet me in the bedroom as I attempted to lay my head on the pillow.. as the day went I became more and more cranky and short tempered... Thank the Lord that I was able to take a nap before coming in for another 8 hours and the wonderful drive here which allowed me to thank God for the day.... 3 night shifts left and counting.. Next hurtle picking a daycare/preschool and getting Nevaeh ( and myself) on a steady sleep schedule... PRAYERS WILL BE NEEDED!!!!

And so it goes...

Have you ever made an annoucement that you were going to do something and then never foloow thru... ya ever feel like crap after?? that is my situation... i posted a new blog not to long ago about starting to fast again in attempt to get some answers... and well i never got to it... i have been so wrapped up in my "stuff" that i was unable to do what really needed to be done.. Once again after an extremely moving service at Northway Church today ( a lil shout out for those of you who don't know it.. check it out if ya need the info contact me), i feel as thou God is calling me to get in line.. not only with praying but with eating right and taking care of myself as well as my beautiful littlw girl. I am in for many changes in the next couple of weeks on top of the changes that i have gone throu over the last couple of months.. althought i plan on praying for God's help and guidence.. if any of you get a chance put in a good word or two for me... I NEED THE HELP!!!!

life with out internet

So here i am sitting on my friend's couch on her laptop cause i have no internet at home... i didnt realize 1) how much time i acutally spent on the computer or 2) how much i used it for more than looking at myspace... damn that time warner and the bill and damn all the the rest that are attempting to collect money from me that i do not have... to be stuck in the middle of a rock and a hard space truely sucks... too much money to get help but not enough to actually get by without robbing peter to pay paul or in my instance robbing time warner to pay sprint!!!

Change

So yesterday i went and literally CHOPPED off my hair... it has been bugging me for sometime for many different reasons, but i finally got rid of it. I feel so lite and sexy.. i have not felt like this in a long time.. i think i could get used to this whole taking care of myself thing....

extreme crankiness

have you ever felt so cranky you can not even stand yourself??? this is my feeling of the day... i am so irritable and miserable i can not even stand to be in my own skin... i have so much on my mind and so much to deal with at this point in time i am having trouble being anything other than cranky... lord please help me, help me to give it to you.. you will decide all things in the end.. please relieve this stress!

A new journey

So around the beginning of the year i started attending this church called Northway Church. I have never been so proud or so happy in my faith. I was raised in a catholic home and received my 1st communion and my confirmation at my own will but i REALLY feel like i belong now. Every service i go to i sing my head off ( i figure good, bad or terrible God gave me this voice so i can give it back), and with each and every service (some more than others) i feel as if the message is directed straight at me... not in a bad way but in and inspiring "stop being lazy and pray" kinda way. We had a period in my church in which we were fasting.. ( not all day from food but from one thing over all that we enjoy) well i fasted and i prayed every day for strength and above all i thanked God for everything i have and every breath i took, i have never felt as good as i did during that month.... i think it is time to do it again.. maybe i will get some answers to my questions and maybe not.. but i am feeling compelled to do this so i think i need to... wish me luck.. better yet.. pray for me..

Another Day Lost

Ok so here it is 6pm and I have only been up for 1 hour. I don't know about anyone else but this working nights and getting broken sleep thing is killing me. After over 3 years of working nights and 12 or more hours a shift I wonder..... what it would be like on the world's schedule, what would it be like to work Monday thru Friday and have nights and weekends to enjoy with my daughter??? Last night i really didn't do much thanks to my coworker on orientation, but to keep busy i developed a resume and was able to email it to a few places. I really need a day job.. any ideas?? i can not take my little one begging me not to go to sleep any more, not to mention the thought of all the things i could have accomplished today but did not because i could not keep my eyes open more than 5 minutes....

Long night at work

So here I am blogging for the first time... I am at work and well.. not too busy. I have wanted to try this for a while so here it goes.. not really sure what they will be about but here I am blogging world watch out!!!